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FBI Chief To G-Men: Stop Busting On NYPD!
By
John Del Signore
Published Dec 15, 2011
Modified Dec 15, 2011
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By
John Del Signore
Published Dec 15, 2011
Modified Dec 15, 2011
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A Harlem stoner who unsuccessfully tried to circumcise himself and entertained fantasies about building a pipe bomb was brought down by the NYPD with great fanfare last month; perhaps you'll recall the press conference in which NYPD Commissioner Ray Kelly described 27-year-old terror suspect Jose Pimentel as a dangerous "lone wolf" brought down "before he could detonate a fully-operated bomb." Yeah, the FBI thought that was just rich. And apparently they've been trash-talking the NYPD so much that the bureau's director, Robert Mueller, had to tell them to knock it off.
After the arrest, FBI told various reporters off the record that they had declined to go after Pimentel, because they deemed him incapable of actually executing an attack. (After all, the guy can't even cut his own foreskin.) But when Mueller appeared before the Senate Judiciary Committee Wednesday, he got an earful from U.S. Sen. Chuck Grassley, who told him, "FBI agents should not anonymously or publicly attack the New York Police Department." Thank you Senator Buzzkill Wetblankety!
Mueller concurred, but admitted that he had to repeatedly tell his subordinates to cut it out. "I gave directions that that should not happen, and when I saw it happening again, went back to give directions to have it stopped,” Mueller said. Then Grassley reminded Mueller that his agency has a reputation for “not playing well with others," which makes him worry that "if we’re busy fighting each other then we’re not fighting our real enemies"—who for all we know are planning to circumcise themselves RIGHT NOW... or right after one more bong rip.
The Daily News reports that Mueller and Kelly have patched things up after the trash talking, and Mueller says, "These things are unfortunate, I wish they didn’t happen, but our relationship remains solid." Still, Ray Kelly's mom is so fat she thinks a paddy wagon is for delivering Peppermint Patties.
Tagged
fbi
nypd
Ray Kelly
robert mueller
security theater
John Del Signore
Originally from the Albany area, John Del Signore has called NYC home since 1995. In addition to his thousands of meticulously-crafted bespoke blog posts for Gothamist, his writing has also been published in The Awl, Deadspin, The Nervous Breakdown, and performed at The Brick Theater in Brooklyn.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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