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Thanks A Lot, Lamestream Media: Herman Cain "Suspending" Presidential Campaign
By
Christopher Robbins
Published Dec 3, 2011
Modified Dec 3, 2011
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By
Christopher Robbins
Published Dec 3, 2011
Modified Dec 3, 2011
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At a bizarre pep rally in Atlanta moments ago, GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain announced that he is "suspending" his campaign for president, "because of the continued distraction of the continued hurt caused on me and my family." Cain added, "I'm not gonna be silenced and I'm not going away." Translation: "Don't worry, I'm still going to be shilling my books and speaking for tens of thousands of dollars!"
Cain said he'll be making an endorsement "in the near future," and was coy as to who it was besides saying "it is not the current occupant of the White House." Come onnnnnnnnnn, Gingrich!
[UPDATE] In an effort to prove that he's going to monetize the hell out of thing thing“the people are still in charge of this country,” Cain announced his new website, The Cain Solutions. Though the site is clearly still in beta, we're anxious to learn what sort of "solutions" Cain will offer that he hasn't already. He also ended his speech with his favorite quote from the Pokemon movie, but it's worth noting that Thomas Dewey, Barry Goldwater and Bob Dole were other GOP candidates for president who loved quoting Pokemon at length.
Tagged
2012 election
Citizen Cain
farces
gop
herman cain
republicans
sexual harassment
Christopher Robbins
Christopher Robbins is a New York City reporter covering transportation, affordable housing, local politics, and criminal justice. His work has also appeared in New York Magazine, The Village Voice and The New York Times. Chris is a graduate of Patrick Henry High School in Roanoke, Virginia, and enjoys biking to Fort Tilden in the summertime.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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