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Man Vows To Masturbate In Every Starbucks Bathroom In NYC, Document Results
By
John Del Signore
Published Oct 27, 2011
Modified Oct 27, 2011
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By
John Del Signore
Published Oct 27, 2011
Modified Oct 27, 2011
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Good morning! As we all know, it's important to have goals in life. An area man who calls himself Mister PeePee has dedicated himself to exploring the unlimited erotic potential of the Starbucks bathroom. Starbucks Gossip says this gentleman has made a podcast [since removed?] describing his mission to masturbate in every Starbucks bathroom in New York City, and rate the results. That's over 298 rub outs! So which Starbucks is the best one for self-pleasuring? And why are guys so gross?
"Today's Starbucks visit is rated as a 4 Boner," the chronic masturbator wrote on Twitter. "Spacious, clean, excellent coffee, strong wifi, no interruptions & 1 hot chick." But that review dates back to December, and since then he has yet to file anything more than terse updates about which Starbucks he's currently, uh, enjoying. Come on Mister PeePee, don't be such a tease! The world wants to know all about your masturbation. Particularly, the world would like to know your name, you creepy perv.
One commenter on Starbucks Gossip who appears to be a Starbucks employee writes, "Glorious. For everyone 1 of him who decides to mention it, think of how many don't. We have one regular who comes in for about an hour a day and stares, yes, stares, and studies, the baristas working. Even takes pictures (it certainly seems) with his phone. Can't really say anything though since he's a cop... Reminds me of the dude who would wank with honey in the bathrooms in (I believe) MA. fml. fyl. ftj."
[Starbucks Gossip via The Awl]
Tagged
masturbation
mister peepee
starbucks
John Del Signore
Originally from the Albany area, John Del Signore has called NYC home since 1995. In addition to his thousands of meticulously-crafted bespoke blog posts for Gothamist, his writing has also been published in The Awl, Deadspin, The Nervous Breakdown, and performed at The Brick Theater in Brooklyn.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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