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Requiem For Borders: A List Of Grievances By Former Employees
By
Ben Yakas
Published Sep 24, 2011
Modified Sep 24, 2011
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By
Ben Yakas
Published Sep 24, 2011
Modified Sep 24, 2011
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The final remaining Borders Books and Music stores closed last Sunday, after the company filed for bankruptcy and were forced to liquidate completely earlier this year. But some employees got in a last word on the bookstore chain, by posting this airing of grievances about customers. Check out the full list after the jump.
The person who posted the picture on Reddit isn't sure which store the list originates, but they surmise that the employees who wrote it "do appear to have been snotty, arrogant hipsters, nonetheless." As a former employee of Borders ourselves, we agree with some of the things on the list, especially the bit about Nicholas Sparks, books-turned-movies (we especially hated it when good books got saddled with terrible movie still photo covers), and the daycare bit. Other things—the coupons, "quick question" and reading porn—never bugged us in the least.
One thing that DID really annoy us, which we would add to this list (from experience): nuns who tried to use their special educators discount to buy sapphic vampire softcore porn as "teaching materials." Don't try it, sister.
The full list of grievances below:
- We hate when a book becomes popular simply because it was turned into a movie.
- It confused us when we were asked where the non-fiction section is.
- Nicholas Sparks is not a good writer…if you like him, fine, but facts are facts.
- We greatly dislike the phrase “Quick question.” It’s never true. And everyone seems to have one.
- Your summer reading list was our summer reading NIGHTMARE. Also, it’s called summer reading, not three days before school starts reading.
- It’s true that we lean to the left and think Glenn Beck is an idiot.
- We always knew when you were intently reading Better Homes and Gardens, it was really a hidden Playboy.
- Most of the time when you returned books you read them already — and we were onto you.
- Limit One Coupon did not mean one for every member of your family — this angered us. Also, we did know what coupons were out.
- It never bothered us when you threatened to shop at Barnes & Noble. We’d rather you do if you’re putting up a stink.
- “I was just here last week and saw this book there” meant nothing to us. The store changed once a week.
- When you walked in and immediately said, “I’m looking for a book,” what you really meant to say is, “I would like you to find me a book.” You never looked. It’s fine, it’s our job — but let’s be correct about what’s really happening here.
- If you don’t know the author, title, or genre, but you do know the color of the cover, we don’t either. How it was our fault that we couldn’t find it we’ll never understand.
- We were never a daycare. Letting your children run free and destroy our section destroyed a piece of our souls.
- Oprah was not the “final say” on what is awesome. We really didn’t care what was on her show or what her latest book club book was. Really.
- When you returned your SAT books, we knew you used them. We thought it wasn’t fair — seeing that we are not a library.
Tagged
books
borders
grievances
list
Ben Yakas
Ben Yakas is a former Gothamist reporter.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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