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Subway Rat Bites Woman Waiting For J Train
By
John Del Signore
Published Sep 8, 2011
Modified Sep 8, 2011
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By
John Del Signore
Published Sep 8, 2011
Modified Sep 8, 2011
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Rats may seem cuddly and adorable when they're scampering across your face, swimming in your toilet bowl, or dangling from a fellow straphanger's mouth, but don't be fooled: these vicious creatures want nothing more than to sink their pestilent fangs into unsuspecting man flesh. Of course, they prefer woman flesh. amNew York reports that an unidentified woman waiting for the J train in the Brooklyn Bridge-City Hall station was bitten by one of these critters Monday morning.
"She was crying — she was quite hysterical," a subway employee told amNewYork. "She did not have a cut … you could see the fresh blood." To the uninitiated, the presence of fresh blood without any cut may seem contradictory, but it's clear that what we're dealing with here is an escaped mutant laser lab rat, which can make a microscopic incision in the victim's flesh, draw out the delicious blood, and then cauterize the wound. This method ensures that the victim will survive the attack... and turn into a super powerful rat-human hybrid villain.
The victim was taken to New York Downtown Hospital, where she is presumably mutating into her new life as Vermina, the sexy subway rat army commander. An MTA spokesperson told us they're looking into the incident, and said there have been no other recent reports of rats biting straphangers. So there's simply no reason to spend your commute home obsessing about this!
Tagged
nightmare
rat bites
rats
subway
John Del Signore
Originally from the Albany area, John Del Signore has called NYC home since 1995. In addition to his thousands of meticulously-crafted bespoke blog posts for Gothamist, his writing has also been published in The Awl, Deadspin, The Nervous Breakdown, and performed at The Brick Theater in Brooklyn.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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