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Swimmer Pulled From New York Harbor Says God Told Him To Dip
By
John Del Signore
Published Jun 6, 2011
Modified Jun 6, 2011
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By
John Del Signore
Published Jun 6, 2011
Modified Jun 6, 2011
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The Lord works in mysterious ways. Sometimes He tells you to kill your son on a mountaintop, other times He commands you to send an army to take out the guy in Iraq who tried to kill your dad. Yesterday God was busy over in Jersey, where He sent an unidentified man on a mission to swim to Liberty Island. Unfortunately, the federal gov'ment stepped in once again to thwart The Almighty's sovereign will.
It was around 4:30 p.m. when the unidentified 29-year-old man stripped down to his swim trunks in Liberty State Park and dove into the frigid waters of New York Harbor. There were plenty of witnesses to the man's mission, but the Post reports that none of them "bothered to call for help"—so moved were they by his sublime devotion to the Lord's calling. The island was three-quarters of a mile away, and according to the United States Park Police, God's swimmer was "floundering" in the waters when they came upon him. But he would not accept their help, for that was not part of God's plan.
"When we got to him he was shivering like a leaf and the tides were taking him away from Liberty Island," a Park Police Officer tells the Post. "He said God told him to swim to Liberty Island. He said he would rather drowned [sic] than get on the boat." Ultimately the swimmer was led astray by the wicked temptations of warm blankets and, you know, survival, and he climbed aboard the rescue craft... TO HELL. Or, as it's known among Godless infidels, Jersey City Medical Center.
Tagged
god
liberty island
new york harbor
religion
swimming
John Del Signore
Originally from the Albany area, John Del Signore has called NYC home since 1995. In addition to his thousands of meticulously-crafted bespoke blog posts for Gothamist, his writing has also been published in The Awl, Deadspin, The Nervous Breakdown, and performed at The Brick Theater in Brooklyn.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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