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Elect The Past To Win The Future: Gingrich 2012 Is On


By

Christopher Robbins

Published May 11, 2011

Modified May 11, 2011


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By

Christopher Robbins

Published May 11, 2011

Modified May 11, 2011


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If we're lucky, once in a lifetime we get the opportunity to share in something that's greater than ourselves. Something so pure and righteous that we can't help embracing our fellow man on the street. That time is now. Write it down for your grandchildren, and your grandchildren's grandchildren: where were YOU, when Newt Gingrich Tweeted that he'd be announcing his candidacy for President of the United State of America?

Over music that is reminiscent of our middle school health class STD videos, Gingrich reminds us that he "worked with Ronald Reagan," and spouts a laundry list of future achievements that we are oh so close to if only we anoint him leader, including "full employment" and "a balanced budget." With Newt at the helm, we'll get to "talk together, work together, find solutions together…and insist on imposing those solutions on those who don't want to change. There are some people who don't mind if America becomes a wreck, as long as they dominate the wreckage." Wait, what did you say after the "finding solutions together" part? GINGRICH 2012: IMPOSING SOLUTIONS IN A MANNER THAT IS NOT COMPLETELY HOSTILE.

The kid gloves are off, Barry. Tune into Sean Hannity's program tonight to see your successor, if you dare.

Tagged

2012

barack obama

Fresh Faces

hype

newt gingrich

republicans


Christopher Robbins

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Christopher Robbins is a New York City reporter covering transportation, affordable housing, local politics, and criminal justice. His work has also appeared in New York Magazine, The Village Voice and The New York Times. Chris is a graduate of Patrick Henry High School in Roanoke, Virginia, and enjoys biking to Fort Tilden in the summertime.

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