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Trump Now Demands To See Obama's Report Cards
By
John Del Signore
Published Apr 26, 2011
Modified Apr 26, 2011
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By
John Del Signore
Published Apr 26, 2011
Modified Apr 26, 2011
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It's not just the fact that Obama was born outside the United States and therefore ineligible to be president, but his whole academic career is a total fictional lie, asserts human paraquat Donald Trump. Appearing on Fox News Good Day NY this morning, our future president tried to wake America up to the fact that our current president was a dumb student and probably got into Harvard because of affirmative action, thus benefiting from opportunities The Donald never got when he was pulling himself up by his bootstraps. Where's De Niro with a telephone cord when you need him? Quoth The Donald:
I keep hearing how brilliant he is. He was a great student, a brilliant student. Except that everything everybody seems to know is that he was a terrible student. And then he got into Columbia where he was very average and then he got into Harvard. And it's sort of interesting because I have friends who have sons who have all A's and tremendous Board numbers and they can't get into Harvard. Why did he go to Harvard if he, in fact, wasn't a good student? So, I'd love to have him release his grades and his test scores.
And what about Obama's gym class records? Everyone's always talking about what a great basketball player he is, but did you know he can't dunk? Even more shocking: he was terrible at T-ball. The talking heads—who didn't dare interrupt Trump's harangue to point out annoying historical details like Obama graduating magna cum laude from Harvard Law School—feigned devil's advocacy by pointing out that if the media looks at Obama's report cards, they should look at George W. Bush's grades as well. To which Trump replied, "Maybe you should look at me too. I was a good student, so I don't mind." That's Trump in a nutshell; all class!
Tagged
birther
donald trump
grades
obama
Politics
John Del Signore
Originally from the Albany area, John Del Signore has called NYC home since 1995. In addition to his thousands of meticulously-crafted bespoke blog posts for Gothamist, his writing has also been published in The Awl, Deadspin, The Nervous Breakdown, and performed at The Brick Theater in Brooklyn.
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