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No One Even Likes The New Four Loko
By
Jaya Saxena
Published Apr 16, 2011
Modified Apr 16, 2011
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By
Jaya Saxena
Published Apr 16, 2011
Modified Apr 16, 2011
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When Four Loko was pushed to remove caffeine from their formula, we wondered: is it even worth drinking anymore? Apparently the answer is no. Senator Klein and Commissioner Farley can stop worrying about removing the drinks from bodega shelves, because everyone realized that without the caffeine high they were just drinking jolly ranchers dissolved in malt liquor, and that's disgusting.
"The demand's gone for it," said one Pennsylvania distributor. "It's not revvin' them up like it used to, and they don't want it." Or perhaps they just realized it tasted better when they made it themselves. We admit we haven't seen the drink at parties as much recently (not that that's a bad thing). However, DJ Anton Glamb thinks the whole situation is terrible because "a lot of people depended on that drink for their weekend festivities." How did people even have parties before Four Loko?! If you can't remember it's probably because Four Loko killed all your brain cells.
Tagged
four loko
jeff klein
new recipe
sales
thomas farley
Jaya Saxena
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