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Mad At Your Baby Mama? Say It With Flaming Poop
By
Garth Johnston
Published Mar 29, 2011
Modified Mar 29, 2011
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By
Garth Johnston
Published Mar 29, 2011
Modified Mar 29, 2011
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When your six-months pregnant girlfriend steals your cellphone the only logical response is to take off all your clothes in the elevator of her building, poop on the floor outside her apartment, smear the poop on her door and then light it on fire while screaming "I'm the devil," right? Riiiight. We've said it before and we'll say it again, Staten Islanders do the craziest things. Did we mention the pyro pooper in this story is named Rasheen (Illuminati) Harrison?
Apparently Illuminati got so angry early last Sunday morning that he did in fact strip, defecate and ignite in the hallway outside of his girlfriend's apartment while she and her two children were trapped inside. When police got to the scene the still-naked Illuminati (with "the evidence on his hands") didn't even deny it. "Yeah, I did it," he allegedly told police. "She stole my cell phone. I had a yellow lighter. I set it on fire."
Illuminati was later taken to a precinct ("where, a law enforcement source said, he defecated a second time") and was charged with second-degree arson, third- and fourth-degree criminal mischief, five counts each of second-degree reckless endangerment and third-degree menacing, and two counts of endangering the welfare of a child according to the DA's office. The charred remains of his poop are still on his baby mama's door.
Related: can we all just pause to give props to the Staten Island Advance for getting "fecal rampage" into a headline?
Tagged
aggravated defecation
burning poop
crazy crime
rasheen (illuminati) harrison
staten island
Garth Johnston
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