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NY Times, Other Irrelevant Critics Finally Review "Spider-Man"
By
John Del Signore
Published Feb 8, 2011
Modified Feb 8, 2011
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By
John Del Signore
Published Feb 8, 2011
Modified Feb 8, 2011
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In what looks to be a collective agreement by several theater critics, including Big Ben Brantley at the NY Times, the local dailies and New York magazine have abandoned professional courtesy and published reviews of $65 million mega-musical Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark before the official opening night (currently set for March 15th, after innumerable postponements). Brantley's pan is the most entertaining—and having seen this folly ourselves, we can safely say that his review is actually far more fun than the show itself. Big Ben asserts that it's "not only the most expensive musical ever to hit Broadway; it may also rank among the worst," and goes on to opine:
This production should play up regularly and resonantly the promise that things could go wrong. Because only when things go wrong in this production does it feel remotely right — if, by right, one means entertaining. So keep the fear factor an active part of the show, guys, and stock the Foxwoods gift shops with souvenir crash helmets and T-shirts that say “I saw ‘Spider-Man’ and lived.” Otherwise, a more appropriate slogan would be “I saw ‘Spider-Man’ and slept.”
I’m not kidding. The sheer ineptitude of this show, inspired by the Spider-Man comic books, loses its shock value early. After 15 or 20 minutes, the central question you keep asking yourself is likely to change from “How can $65 million look so cheap?” to “How long before I’m out of here?” ... "Spider-Man" is so grievously broken in every respect that it is beyond repair.
The others:
- New York's Scott Brown: "As maximalist camp, it succeeds thunderously. Is that what it intends to be? Irrelevant. To ascribe intent would be to limit the power of this show's occasionally frightening, often confounding, always metastasizing imagination. I recommend Spider-Man never open. I think it should be built and rebuilt and overbuilt forever, a living monument to itself."
- Elisabeth Vincentelli at the Post: "In any Taymor spectacle, the performances are almost beside the point: It’s all about creating magic and transporting the viewer. Here, as impressive as the flying is, the wires are all too visible. They’re meant to make the characters soar, but they keep the audience tethered to the ground."
- Newsday's Linda Winer (paywall): "When I saw the show in December, the story was scattered, the music shockingly mediocre. But Taymor's stage pictures were amazing, and the flying was fun in a dumb, circus-y way... Yet, the show I saw Saturday night was the same bloated, muddled, often beautiful mess it was before all this supposed 'work.' If anything, the piece feels more stretched and confused."
- Joe Dziemianowicz at the Daily News: "'Spider-Man' may improve before the Ides of March. Surprises do happen on Broadway. Let's hope they get the tangles out, for the sake of Taymor and company—and for theatergoers shelling out all that dough."
Speaking of those theatergoers, one wonders if any of this sniping will make a damn bit of difference. As we found after interviewing audience members at one preview performance, people just want to see flying shit. This is a silly spectacle for children, mental children, and Glenn Beck—and his endorsement means a hell of a lot more to Spider-Man's target demographic than Ben Brantley at the elitist NY Times. Last week the show grossed $1,297,283 and played to almost 90% capacity. It will be interesting to see whether these slams even make a dent.
Tagged
broadway
spider man musical
spider man turn off the dark
the critics
John Del Signore
Originally from the Albany area, John Del Signore has called NYC home since 1995. In addition to his thousands of meticulously-crafted bespoke blog posts for Gothamist, his writing has also been published in The Awl, Deadspin, The Nervous Breakdown, and performed at The Brick Theater in Brooklyn.
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