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UFOs Are From Mars, Cover-Ups Are From Mount Vernon
By
John Del Signore
Published Oct 15, 2010
Modified Oct 15, 2010
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By
John Del Signore
Published Oct 15, 2010
Modified Oct 15, 2010
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You've got to hand it to the Men in Black; within 48 hours after an alien spacecraft's confirmed broad-daylight contact with New York City, the lamestream media has swiftly regurgitated the government's cover-up story, and the local tabloids are pushing an official explanation that the wondrous spaceship was merely a cluster of balloons. Yesterday we were told that the ship was actually balloons released from a publicity event in Times Square; now we're supposed to believe that it was a bunch of balloons from an engagement party in Mount Vernon. And they've even gotten an entire elementary school to play along!
We don't know what they're paying Angela Freeman, head of the Milestone School in Mount Vernon, but she tells the Daily News, "UFO? They're crazy—those are our balloons!" Yes, one would have to be CRAZY to think anything different! "The kids had an engagement party for a teacher," she tells the Post. "And a mother brought four dozen balloons, and she's coming through the door. It is very windy in Mount Vernon. Suddenly, 12 of the balloons let loose." The tabloid of record says the iridescent pearl balloons went skyward at 1 p.m., and the first "UFO" sighting was at about 1:30 p.m. Isn't that just perfect? And down the memory hole we go!
But questions linger... Who has an engagement party in the middle of the day? And at a school? Do they host bachelor parties, too? And isn't it interesting how the Daily News credits its photographer with a photo of the engagement party, even though he didn't visit the school until October 14th, a full 24 hours after the "party" was supposedly held. Are we supposed to believe the balloons would stay inflated for that long, and that nobody cleaned up after the party? For more, peruse this shocking video of the school's headmistress Angela Freeman, who calls herself "a little bit of a maverick," dutifully playing her part in the cover-up:
Tagged
aliens
conspiracy
cover up
milestone school
ufo sighting
John Del Signore
Originally from the Albany area, John Del Signore has called NYC home since 1995. In addition to his thousands of meticulously-crafted bespoke blog posts for Gothamist, his writing has also been published in The Awl, Deadspin, The Nervous Breakdown, and performed at The Brick Theater in Brooklyn.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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