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Dunkin' Donuts Robber In "Scream" Mask Terrified of Water
By
John Del Signore
Published Oct 8, 2010
Modified Oct 8, 2010
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By
John Del Signore
Published Oct 8, 2010
Modified Oct 8, 2010
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The criminal mastermind who organized a Dunkin' Donuts robbery on Long Island Tuesday night probably thought his plan was foolproof. After careful consideration, he came up with the perfect disguise: black clothing and one of those ubiquitous masks from the movie Scream. He had a gun, an empty bag, and a simple plan: enter the Dunkin' Donuts through the back kitchen door, wave the gun around, and make off with the small fortune surely waiting in the Dunkin' Donuts cash register. That windfall, properly invested, could help him start a new life in Great Neck, or wherever criminals go to reinvent themselves! But what he hadn't counted on was dishwasher Muhammed Kahn, and his fiendish sink hose.
Police tell Newsday (paywall) the would-be robber entered the Farmingdale Dunkin' Donuts around 11:40 p.m. and came upon Kahn, who just couldn't take him seriously with that stupid mask on. "He said, 'Give me the money! Give me the money!' " Kahn tells the Post. "He was wearing a Halloween mask and had a bag, like Halloween. I thought it was a friend—a joke. I just hit him in the face with the water. After the water, he left." Damn you, Kaaaaahn!
And yes, despite the fact that the attempted robbery happened at police headquarters Dunkin' Donuts, Nassau County detectives have yet to collar the crook. Just a hunch, but we're guessing he's on the lam with Darth Vader.
Tagged
dunkin donuts robbery
long island
scream mask
John Del Signore
Originally from the Albany area, John Del Signore has called NYC home since 1995. In addition to his thousands of meticulously-crafted bespoke blog posts for Gothamist, his writing has also been published in The Awl, Deadspin, The Nervous Breakdown, and performed at The Brick Theater in Brooklyn.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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