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Suspicious Package? Robbery? Murder? Don't Ask a Cop!
By
John Del Signore
Published Jun 14, 2010
Modified Jun 14, 2010
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By
John Del Signore
Published Jun 14, 2010
Modified Jun 14, 2010
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On our way into the office this morning we came across this interesting scene on the corner of Jay and Front Streets. As you can see, police tape marked off a section of the sidewalk, where a bag stuffed with clothes (dirty undies? the whites?) sat by an open window at Egg Baby, the children's clothing store. Two NYPD officers were sitting there inside a squad car, and the cop on the passenger side very begrudgingly cracked open his door when we approached to make an inquiry. "Some guy got shot. He's dead," we were told.
Since this isn't what we'd imagined a murder scene to look like (where were the weary, unshaven detectives? the forensics team?), we spoke with some local merchants. Both the clerk at the deli near Egg Baby and the owner of Promenade Car service next door countered that this wasn't a murder scene. "This morning I saw a woman inside Egg Baby around 6 a.m.," the owner of Promenade said. "I called the cops and when they arrived she dropped the bag and ran." (And for the record, the NYPD press office has no information about a murder at this location.)
So, breathe easy DUMBO, it's not a suspicious package or a grisly retail murder; just a desperate woman stealing baby clothes. And to the cops parked outside: We get that you don't get paid enough to act as public affairs officers to the local marshmallows, and that sitting in an air-conditioned car outside a baby store requires uninterrupted vigilance, but if you're going to bullshit us, at least show a little more creativity than "some guy got shot." Like, "Terrorists have seized Egg Baby and are holding at least a dozen employees hostage while they steal 640 million dollars in bearer bonds locked in the basement vault!" Or how about, "Some pregnant lady tried to steal some baby clothes, then went into labor as she tried to run away. I helped her deliver—she had triplets!" Give a marshmallow some credit.
Tagged
disinformation
dumbo
egg baby
marshmallow
mystery
nypd
robbery
suspicious package
John Del Signore
Originally from the Albany area, John Del Signore has called NYC home since 1995. In addition to his thousands of meticulously-crafted bespoke blog posts for Gothamist, his writing has also been published in The Awl, Deadspin, The Nervous Breakdown, and performed at The Brick Theater in Brooklyn.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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