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Girlfriend-Beating Loser Politician Seeks Christian Female
By
John Del Signore
Published May 17, 2010
Modified May 17, 2010
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By
John Del Signore
Published May 17, 2010
Modified May 17, 2010
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Hey ladies, do you have "a thing" for fat political hacks who drag their lovers around by their hair and slash their faces with broken glass? If so, we've got just the guy for you. His name is Hiram Monserrate, and he is back on the market!
Despite the fact that the woman on the receiving end of Monserrate's violence still wants to be with him, the Queens pol has been on the prowl. (During a chance encounter last week, the woman, Karla Giraldo, supposedly told him, "I love you, I miss you, I want to be with you.") But last week Monserrate was macking on multiple young ladies at a private party on Central Park South, and one of his targets turned out to be a reporter for the NY Post. "I'd like to date," Monserrate told the twenty-something reporter. "I'm looking for a good Christian woman who's good company. I want to settle down and have kids." When the reporter informed him she wasn't Christian, he "hinted that accommodations could be made." Swoon.
Monserrate, who just last fall had an engagement ring ready for Giraldo, also tried flattering the reporter by telling her she was too thin, then promising to fatten her up. The kicker is that he attempted to close the deal by handing out his state Senate business card, but with the old phone numbers crossed out and his current digits penciled in. It's unclear if the lucky young lady immediately tumbled into bed with Monserrate or if she's taking it slow, but time is of the essence—Monserrate wants to see Iron Man 2 while it's still in theaters, and he doesn't want to go alone.
Tagged
christian
dating game
eligible bachelor
hiram monserrate
Karla Giraldo
old business card
single
John Del Signore
Originally from the Albany area, John Del Signore has called NYC home since 1995. In addition to his thousands of meticulously-crafted bespoke blog posts for Gothamist, his writing has also been published in The Awl, Deadspin, The Nervous Breakdown, and performed at The Brick Theater in Brooklyn.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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