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Doughnut Plant Caught Selling Decaf Coffee as "Caffeinated"
By
John Del Signore
Published May 4, 2010
Modified May 4, 2010
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By
John Del Signore
Published May 4, 2010
Modified May 4, 2010
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Scandal rocked the justifiably beloved Doughnut Plant on Grand Street this morning, when a frequent customer uncovered a shocking conspiracy: The establishment has for some time now been passing off decaffeinated coffee as caffeinated. A tipster tells Grub Street, "I confronted a woman working at the counter this morning with the rumor. She confirmed it, seemed kind of embarrassed, like I'd found out some big secret, and asked me if I still wanted the coffee I'd ordered. I’ve been drinking this coffee almost every day for a year, and it’s pretty upsetting." But there's a very simple explanation for all this!
Owner Mark Israel doesn't consume caffeine, so why should you? "I really like the taste of coffee," he explains. "Whether it has caffeine or not is not really important to me. I like the flavor like I like the flavor of chocolate." Israel maintains that he wasn't being deceptive, he just wasn't "concentrating" on the coffee program at the Doughnut Plant because it’s mostly a wholesale operation. At press time, the Better Business Bureau, the Department of Consumer Affairs, the Health Department, and District Attorney Cy Vance had not yet responded to our requests for comment.
Tagged
caffeine
coffee
decaf
doughnut plant
scandal
John Del Signore
Originally from the Albany area, John Del Signore has called NYC home since 1995. In addition to his thousands of meticulously-crafted bespoke blog posts for Gothamist, his writing has also been published in The Awl, Deadspin, The Nervous Breakdown, and performed at The Brick Theater in Brooklyn.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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