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Thin Walls No Match for Fornicating NYers, Survey Says
By
John Del Signore
Published Feb 12, 2010
Modified Feb 12, 2010
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By
John Del Signore
Published Feb 12, 2010
Modified Feb 12, 2010
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It's annoying enough that other people are getting some, but do they have to lord it over everyone with their vulgar caterwauling? Apparently so, because a survey of some 400 New Yorkers by Brick Underground suggests that most of us can hear our neighbors in the rut. More than two-thirds of the respondents say they're regularly subjected to the sounds of sex. What's to be done?
"It's like a train wreck—you have to stop what you're doing and listen, even if it's awful," Melissa Buck, 29, who lives on the Upper East Side, tells The Post. "A friend and I were cooking dinner at 6:30, while it was still light out, and we heard the neighbors. Why can you always hear the girl?" (So true! Guys, aren't you enjoying this? What's WRONG?)
Anyway, Buck's observation suggests it's not really thin walls that are to blame, but thoughtless, self-centered fornicators of the feminine gender. Ladies, next time you're lost in the throes of ecstasy, please take a moment to consider your neighbor, as he sits alone in a dark room on the other side of the wall, mere inches away from your naked body, listening intently to every shudder, moan and bang. Maybe he looks a little something like this?
Back to Buck, she says the noise "lasted probably 10 minutes, and we had to stop cooking and listen." And one Leslie Vandike of East New York, Brooklyn, has some advice for those driven to distraction by neighbors' amour. "Last summer, I was having a barbecue. Everybody was outside. Suddenly, we hear this loud screaming," he tells the Post. "Upstairs, our neighbor was having sex. Everybody was like, 'You go, girl,' cheering them on. We never heard anything else after that."
Tagged
apartment
neighbors
noise
sex
walls
John Del Signore
Originally from the Albany area, John Del Signore has called NYC home since 1995. In addition to his thousands of meticulously-crafted bespoke blog posts for Gothamist, his writing has also been published in The Awl, Deadspin, The Nervous Breakdown, and performed at The Brick Theater in Brooklyn.
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