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Divorce in NY is Painful and Costly and Lawyers Love It


By

John Del Signore

Published Apr 1, 2009

Modified Apr 2, 2009


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By

John Del Signore

Published Apr 1, 2009

Modified Apr 2, 2009


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Forty-nine states in the Union permit residents to pursue no-fault divorces, but not the Empire State. New York doesn't accept "irreconcilable differences" as grounds for ending marriage, and so one spouse must prove in court that the other is guilty of adultery, cruel and inhuman treatment, or withholding sex for a year.

The excruciating process cost one couple—the Daily News calls them John and Kelly—$100,000 in legal fees. Though they wanted to split amicably in 2006, they've been dealing with legal roadblocks for years. John's lawyer, Michael Stutman, tells the News, "This family spent an awful lot of money just getting to the point where it could be decided whether or not they could get a divorce. So they took a 100-grand hit because of all this fiddling around." Yeah, but you should see Stutman's yacht! (Kidding, we have no idea whether Mr. Stutman owns a yacht or, if he does, if it's named "Knot Guilty.")

Part of the reason for the inaction is that lawmakers are beholden to lawyers for campaign donations, and, as one source tells the News, "This is bread and butter to [divorce lawyers]. If you have no-fault, you cut the time and cost in half, so you're cutting their bread and butter in half." After being stymied for years, plucky Assemblyman Adam Bradley is still pushing a bill that would let couples file no-fault divorces. But as Bradley puts it, "In Albany, progress is like the sands of time. When a grain of sand goes down, that's what passes for progress."

After two decades serving as New York's top judge for divorces, Jacqueline Silbermann couldn't take it anymore; she calls it "an abominable situation. It is absolutely impossible to get the Legislature to act on this. I tried for years." But not everyone thinks no-fault is the way to go; Dennis Poust, a spokesman for the New York State Catholic Conference, says no-fault divorces make it too easy for couples to split: "You don't walk away from other contractual obligations, do you?"

Tagged

court

divorce

new york

no fault


John Del Signore

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Originally from the Albany area, John Del Signore has called NYC home since 1995. In addition to his thousands of meticulously-crafted bespoke blog posts for Gothamist, his writing has also been published in The Awl, Deadspin, The Nervous Breakdown, and performed at The Brick Theater in Brooklyn.

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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations


Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations


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