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Vigilante Goes on Offense Against Unwanted Menus
By
John Del Signore
Published Jan 3, 2008
Modified Mar 7, 2008
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By
John Del Signore
Published Jan 3, 2008
Modified Mar 7, 2008
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Outraged by the unstoppable deluge of delivery menus on your doormat and the inability of our elected officials to stem the rising tide? You are not alone! One man has decided to take matters into his own hands by designing a sticker for your apartment door to ward off unwanted promotions.
I've decided to start promoting my own solution: a simple bumper sticker that uses a helpful diagram to warn trespassers that fingers will be crushed if menus are put under the door. This has actually made a huge difference in reducing the number of menus arriving at my house.
Now you too can protect your home with one of these stickers, for just $1.99 a pop – or get ten times the security by buying ten for $15.99. You never can be too vigilant these days – what with the risk of paper cuts, back injuries from picking up the detritus and obesity brought on by unsought menu temptation.
Boingboing’s tireless commenters, rivaled in diligence only by Gothamist readers, were quick to point out that not only is the Spanish translation “terrible” and “proto-racist” but it’s also quite unnecessary for fingers to actually pass underneath the door to slide a menu through. A more sophisticated solution might be to devise a highly weight-sensitive interior doormat which, when triggered by the menu, would release a thick plume of tear gas.
How do you cope with the scourge of menus? How will it influence your vote in the upcoming primary election? And if delivery menus are eradicated, what ever will become of The Menu King?
Tagged
garbage
gothamist
legislation
love
menus
new york
vigilante justice
John Del Signore
Originally from the Albany area, John Del Signore has called NYC home since 1995. In addition to his thousands of meticulously-crafted bespoke blog posts for Gothamist, his writing has also been published in The Awl, Deadspin, The Nervous Breakdown, and performed at The Brick Theater in Brooklyn.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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